Monday, March 24, 2014

Wrong person

There's a comment in my previous post from some for-profit, US Healthcare bullshit, asking if I would post a short video of hope, encouragement and inspiration for those just diagnosed with MS.

I'm the WRONG person for that.

You see, I know that that the "power of positive" thinking is bullshit.

It's not going to help me get better. It's not going to make my symptoms go away. It's not going to give me back functioning ovaries, or put my hair and nails back to healthy.

I can't think my way to not having MS.

What I can do is share my experience:

In a nutshell, if you liked your life before MS, you're going to hate it now.

If you hated your life before MS, you're going to go through bouts of suicidal depression and a level of self-loathing that will make you wish you were dead.

Any plans you had that go beyond maybe a year from now: accept that they're just plans, and probably not the likely outcome.

No one has a cure for MS. From the best research available, most people with RRMS are not completely disabled after 10 years who:

do not smoke.
get regular exercise.
eat a diet of small amounts of protein and large amounts of plants.

Which is kind of funny, because that's what they tell people who DON'T have MS to do to stay healthy.

MS broke me at a time where I was just getting my shit together. I will never be able to make up for what MS cost me.

I don't have anything to offer a newly-diagnosed person. My MS isn't your MS, and if forced to choose between the MS I got and the MS you got, I'll stick with what I have. It's not a gift, it's not full of great lessons, and it did not happen for a reason.

I will concede one thing about the "power of positive thinking".

It makes my family and friends happier to be around me when I pretend I have it.

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