Where have I been?

So, for the longest time I didn't want to write about anything at all.

I'm not exactly what you would call "in love with life" these days.

Finances continue to be a struggle.

Car ownership continues to vex me.

The heating situation in our apartment makes me want to stab someone.

Seriously, when it's 30 below out there, it does not need to be 40 degrees in here.*

Also, when it's hovering around zero outside, it needs to be warmer than 10 inside.*

Joe's schooling continues to be a challenge. Nothing is working out as previously planned, so now it looks like he's going part-time until Spring of 2016. Which means he's gotta find a job. Find a job with a poli-sci degree in a town where the official unemployment rate is stuck at 9.5%

I'm not sure I'm cut out for self-employment, but hopefully my two new clients work out better than my three old ones.

I'm biting my nails again for the first time in 10 years. Right now I'm just glad that I haven't started smoking again.

Things are different here.

I miss living in a city.

A lot.

There's so very little from my old life that crosses into my new one.

I did the work. There's practically nothing.

I suppose that I would hate it here less if I could get away from it more often but between the location restrictions from the funding program I'm in for my business and the lack of money we're still going through, I can't really go anywhere.

***

My MS remains a pain in my ass.

I started working out with some regularity in late October of last year. The goal is to get physically stronger and improve my balance.

I don't know if it's working.

I learned that I can't do a 45 minute work out at the gym and then come home and do three loads of laundry up and down 3 flights of stairs and have enough energy to do much of anything after 4 PM.

***

I learned that cheap Indian food and a shot of Canadian Club not long before bed causes me to have dreams where I hit people I haven't seen or heard from in over a year in the arm and yell at them to stop haunting my dreams.

Yeah.

I know.

*All temps Celsius 

I have no word for "entrepreneur"

I really don't like working for the man I work for.

There, I said it. Out loud and on the internet.

It's not that I don't like the work. I'm good at the work. I am asked to do all sorts of things I like doing on a daily basis.

I just work in an inefficient way, using obsolete tools to produce material that looks dated and out of fashion.

And that makes me sad.

But what I do like is paycheques. Paycheques that are demonstrably larger than the EI cheques I was getting in June. They do things like pay the rent, allow me to put food in my belly, get my hair did and buy new sheets all the while keeping my husband able to get his second degree at university.

The Predict-a-Pen at Chapters told me that I should do the work to become a personal organizer before I do the writing classes. The Magic 8 Ball app I added to my phone confirmed the answer. So as soon as I know if my current job is permanent, I will start that process.

In the meantime, if anyone in Vancouver has an organizing job they would like free help with on an evening or weekend, let me know. I need some portfolio material and I'll work for free and in my spare time until the end of the year.

Huh, that's a decision I apparently just made. Weird.

Anyway... I don't know that I want to be self-employed, or at least not right now. I just know that I want desperately to do what I am good at for a living.