Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Brainz - An Update (I forgot to post this 3 weeks ago)

October 13, 2011

1) Seeing me makes my neurologist smile. My "initial disease presentation was as close to the worst as it gets" and the fact that I am doing as well as I am is pleasing to her.

2) My MRI remains unchanged from year to year. My lesion load is stable with no new lesions found.

3) I have 1-2% nerve damage in my fingers and toes.

4) I have some minor spasticity in my calves, the left being worse than the right and causing some uncontrolled movements.

5) My mission to learn how to run again has been improved by my neurologist because the latest recommended treatment for MS is 30 minutes of moderate exercise every day. Running/fast walking for 15 minutes a day counts in her mind, though she told me to take it easy and don't push too far or too fast.

6) I am to continue doing "exactly what" I have been doing: Copaxone, Wellbutrin, 5000 IUs of vitamin D, and daily exercise.

***Edit November 1, 2011***

I feel really good physically and the change I made in employment has been a positive one for my mental health. Got some good news today regarding that job, so I'll find out later this week or next what my near-term status is going to be.

It is at times like this I wish I were more superstitious about other things than actions to take during the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Just sitting.

Two weekends ago I had my house and my routine (that was going awesome and everything) totally upended. The first weekend was just awful, spent running around trying to fix things. I spent the two days of the weekend wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. The situation got fixed come the following Monday but it has cost us some space in the house. I needed a day or two to recover. I got up and went to work and that was that.

I started coming down with a cold on Saturday morning. I beat it into submission with liberal doses of cold medication, vitamin C and hot honey and lemon beverages. I still have some sniffles but I am mostly a functioning human being.

Which brings me to my life.

It's now been a week since the upheaval and everything is still not right here. I have zero will to go back to my routine. It's like it got messed up so now it's going to take me forever and ever (or until the mess drives me crazy) to get back to it.

These are the first words I have written in a week. I do not find them satisfying.