Clearing my Cookies

So, 2 weeks to 10 days ago I saw a sidebar ad for

UM! Brands

I am always looking for cute and useful organizing tools, so I gave them a click.

Turns out, there's absolutely nothing that I want there.

SINCE that afternoon, every time I've gone to a website, I've seen an ad for UM! Brands.

Most recently at the bottom of this page:

Seriouslyforreal.com - This Guy’s Instagram Is Just Him Photoshopped Next To Celebrities

And on ANY website that has videos as GoogleAds. And most with sidebar advertising.

It's fucking creepy. I'm being stalked by a piece of plastic that lets you stick your iPhone to the wall.

***

And then the sky opened up. 6:11 PM EDT, the rain just fell out of the sky like it couldn't get out of the sky fast enough.

It's now a gentle warm summer rain at 6:19 PM EDT.

Sometimes I wonder if I didn't move a rainforest, rather than the other way around.

Windsor is under a Level 1 Heat Advisory today and tomorrow because the Humidex is expected to feel like 40 DEGREES CELSIUS for TWO STRAIGHT DAYS.

(US Translation: 104 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT for TWO STRAIGHT DAYS)

Fuck this shit. FUCK IT RIGHT IN THE EAR

***

Oddly enough, the heat and humidity hasn't been bothering my MS symptoms too much. I've got some cognitive crap going on, and some fine motor/hand-eye coordination issues that are more like an exaggeration of symptoms I already have.

My hands are numb all the time unless I am in the deep freeze I call work. Joe can't get the bedroom cold enough with our window unit to get rid of the numbness.

***

Re:Yesterday

I had three people who don't know each other bring up Kickstarter as a funding option.

Maybe I'll give that another thought.

***

I've cleared my cache and cookies because I don't want nanosuction to be influencing my internet surfing experience.

***

I just checked the post I referenced. UM! is GONE! YAY!

Sometimes...

... when you tell someone (or a series of someones) *exactly* what you want, someone says,

"Hey, I might have something like that. Come in and talk to me in the morning."

So I'm going to do that in the morning.

***

And then you realize you've left the stove on low for more than an hour.

Because you're SMART LIKE TRACTOR.

***

I'm so happy hockey is back.

A Major Breakthrough

Yesterday it was chilly in my apartment when I woke up. I cajoled my husband into coming back to bed to warm me up, but he found it boring, so he added my TV-watching-blanket to the top of me bed and left. Within minutes I was sound asleep. I slept for an additional four hours.

***

Shortly before I was diagnosed, having a shower would leave me unable to walk, exhausted, and with short-term memory problems.

Since mitoxantrone, I can have a shower without these symptoms, but I still shower before bed just in case it makes me tired or my legs decide to short out. But I thought I was over the worst of the heat sensitivity.

***

I cracked a window last night and took the extra blanket off the bed. I woke up around the time I thought I would. Getting warm puts me to sleep. 

Too hot makes me cranky and I can't walk right.

Too cold makes me cranky.

Warm and cozy makes me sleep. Makes me sleep for hours.

My optimum operating temperature is 18 to 22C  (64-72F)

Though I can stay awake at less than 18, so it's a good thing I live in Canada.

***

So the key to my waking up at a decent hour is to have barely seasonally appropriate bedding and wear summer pjs all year round.

This is a major breakthrough!

Stuff that's got me thinking

1. I was told the other day that my biggest barrier to employment was that I was too awesome. For serious.
2. What would/do I consider success?
3. I need to make some time to change all my passwords to 14 characters or longer, including numbers and special characters (if allowed). When will I make that time?
4. I love The Container Store and they have no plans to expand to Canada at this time and that makes me sad.
5. Self-employment, even part-time hours and part-time income, is looking and sounding better and better.
6. I might have to learn to like people more than I do in order to be successful in business, even part-time.
7. "Everyone's a libertarian until their state is under 10 feet of water."
8. I wonder if I could convince Joe to change our last name to something cooler?
9. If it weren't for the internet my life would be totally different. I would not live in Vancouver, I would not be married to the person I am married to and would not have spoken to anyone I have spoken to (other than my mum and my sister) in the past two months.
10. I forget where I was going with this. I wonder if that is a problem like my word choice cognitive problem?

I don't fucking know.

I have been having a difficult time stringing words together into cohesive sentences this week, and I know exactly why.

I have been moving very little and sitting or laying down a lot.

This is why unemployment is a killer to me; with no reason to get up in the morning... I don`t get up. I mean, I wake up between 8 and 9 every morning, but I don`t get up until I either have to pee, the low-caffeine headache starts or I`m so starving I will collapse.

For the past couple of day I have been making a concerted effort to move, with or on purpose, for at least 15 minutes a day. As a result, I've been able to get some things done today. Like get a start on my backload of laundry that piled up just because I didn't want to do it last weekend. I didn't want to do it last weekend because that would have meant getting out of bed and putting socks on. And last weekend, sockless was just the way things rolled around here.

I applied for a job this week and they called me to ask a couple of questions that seemed completely unrelated to the position at hand; i.e. where I saw myself in five years - but the job is only for a 6 month maternity leave. They said that if I am going to move on they'd contact me on Monday or Tuesday of next week. Not holding my breath.

I've been trying to figure out what kind of classes I could take that would improve my job prospects in a year or less and then maybe work part-time and get some kind of training, but I haven't figured that out. I wish I had a clue what I wanted to be when I grow up, but no one wants to pay me to be interested in what I am interested in in any kind of meaningful way.

I guess I am just going to have to wait until Joe turns me into The Real Housewife of, well, wherever we end up settling. I will be The Real Housewife of My House.

Stupid is as stupid does

I am making the stupidest mistakes.

I have an obsessive attention to detail gene and MS has broken it. I can barely think, let alone think critically or logically. My brain is a mess, my attention span shot and I'm missing errors that used to stand out to me like a neon sign.

I have a psychiatrist appointment in a couple of weeks. I wonder if it is worth having a look at. I just know that I am failing at my job because my brain is failing me.

I am so fucking tired of MS stealing things from me.

Is it not bad enough that it's stolen my looks, my ability to move properly or regularly, my fun and my ability to do something more challenging with my life? It has to steal my brain too?

FUCK YOU MS! Fuck you right in the ear.

Weird

Is the deal with MS that you either get to walk straight or think straight but never both at the same time?

I have had all sorts of cognitive and memory stuff going on that's driving me crazy.

I've also had all manner of emotional issues as well; crying when I can't solve a puzzle, I hear a particular song or trip on my left foot.

I know that I am not in my right mind, and it's driving me batshit crazy.

So, on July 17 I'm throwing myself an Ultimate Dance Party post-afternoon burgers, dogs and sangria birthday party.

If you're in Vancouver, you should come.