Pride 2012

A giant Viagra pill during my WTF? moment at Vancouver Pride 2012 - image from The Georgia Straight

"Heterosexuality isn't normal, it's just common.”

- Dorothy Parker

Such a good day, in the shade, beside the beach with my friend Sam. I had a cooling tie and a fabulous hat, and lasted the whole 2 hours on my feet without taking a break until I got a snack over at Gay Day on the Beach. It was a great afternoon in Vancouver.

I am a little tired now, but that could be because of the wobbly-pops I've had since getting home.

So many families today. So many hotties. So many fabulous young women.

One weird naked guy in a straw hat whom I can only hope for his sake is a "grower".

Photo - Reuters

Cool thing: Manny Malhotra of the Vancouver Canucks and Patrick Burke of You Can Play (and the Philadelphia Flyers organization) came out in support of gay athletes and the end of homophobia in sports. I love this group a lot. I will write more about them, their videos and their community involvement once (if) hockey season starts.

Ho hum music this year. I mean seriously, NO Gloria Gaynor! No Sister Sledge! Okay, there was some Village People, but it was the fucking *YMCA* who were playing it. The only time I heard "Born This Way" was when the Vancouver Gay Men's Choir sang it as they escorted Grand Marshal Bill Monroe:

Don't be a drag, just be a queen. - Photo Reuters

But I DID hear Flo Rida and LMFAO multiple times. Clearly the youth of today have no idea what good music is for a gay parade.

Pride goodies were also kind of lame. I only got:

• 1 lubricated condom
• a button demanding a freeze of tuition fees
• a card demanding the immediate reversal of the ban on gay men giving blood
• the best crowd-handout Pride flag ever
• a button and a pen from the CBC tent
• a 30SPF sunscreen towellette
• 3 Trojan condoms that have some sort of additive that will make it more intense. (um, yeah, I've now looked at the intensified package... not sure that I'm letting something with ginger in it *near* my vag.) (Just saying...)
• a promotional card for the, uh, marital aids that Trojan is now selling to *the ladies*
• a bumper sticker for Pierced and Culture Craze, and 
• a promotional piece for the Terminal City Rollergirls.

A disappointing haul as compared to previous Gay Halloweens along the parade route. But I guess the with economy being as it is Pride swag gets cut.

Also, the marshalling was *so* bad that at one point people left our area because nothing showed up for more than five minutes and all we could see was crowds of people coming from downtown. Then all of a sudden Hedy Frey and Co. rounded the corner whilst she sashayed 3 inches at a time in a mermaid costume.

The bonus part was we got to move in closer to the curb when so many people left.

Then there were times when there were five floats on top of each other and then nothing for five minutes, even after Hedy's wardrobe slow down.

All in all I'm glad I travelled the way I did (and I'm not telling because it was awesome, not crowded and got me to the part of the parade route I wanted to be at with little sun exposure or distance) and I'm glad I got to hang out with Sam.

Happy Pride Vancouver!

Yes, that is Bert and Ernie. They announced their marriage today. - Bert and Ernie Love - Vancouver Pride 2012 by Petitecornichon, on Flickr

Because I have the gift of literacy...

...I have a column in a legit online publication.

Odd how that happened, but I think I am glad that I did.

For now. We'll see when next Sunday rolls around and all I've got is "This is shit." repeated 1500 times.

Weird.

The weather is finally back to normal. 24C, cloudy with sunny periods. Perfection. *This* is why I moved here. Temperate at all times. Except that it's not temperate at all times like it was when I first moved here. The past three winters have been hell on wheels and this past month has been absolutely terrible. My love for Vancouver has been waning for a while, but it's definitely over now.

Now that I have MS I am realizing that the things that Vancouver thinks are great are really, really ability focused. Climbing things. Cycling places. Camping. Beach bumming. Ski bumming. All things that get you away from the city.

When I moved here I thought I was moving to Canada's third largest city and it would be Toronto or Montreal to scale. It's not. I find that disappointing. Every time I thought about what I would like to be doing on those sweltering nights I was reminded that Vancouver doesn't do those things.

There is no pedestrian culture in this city. No late night bookstores and record stores, big patios to meet people at, walking down the block listening to the music that comes from the live music venues, or stores that host djs in their front windows while you browse or dance on the sidewalks. Street closures to watch films projected on the side of a building. Restaurants with not shitty rock bands or slick djs with an average drink price of $3. People don't throw house/balcony parties on a rotating schedule here. At least, none of the people I know do.

I moved around a lot in my 20s and living in the GTA made having a life really, really easy. Trains at all hours. Bars that catered to actual grown ups and people actually acted like grownups. People who would talk to strangers. Strangers that would talk to people.

In almost 6 years in Vancouver I have as many local friends as I made in my first 6 weeks in Toronto. Most of them I didn't really make until I had been here around 3 years. It took me 3 years to get into a job that was worth doing.

I moved to the city to *live* in the city. I know now that Vancouver is a city that's uncomfortable with being a city & doing the things that make city life worth doing. I really don't feel like I belong here, especially now.

I guess I'm just not a west coast person. Joe's tried twice to live West Coast Styles and does not like it either.

I've made the mistake of following Torontoist and Washingtonian on twitter and getting absolutely *green* with envy over what goes on every night, let alone every weekend. I miss being around people who don't like to get dirty and prefer concrete and glass towers to mountains. I miss being in a place that knows how to deal with snow and thunderstorms.

I miss being an Urban Diva. Here in Vancouver that makes you a vapid West Van trophy wife with a phony french manicure, Shake n'Bake tan, and brassy foil highlights, driving a Range Rover in 4WD whilst talking on a mobile complaining that Aritzia was out of size zeros. That's not what being an urban woman is, but it's the Vancouver stereotype of one.

The weather brought me here and it's the weather that is going to chase me away. Joe's got 18 months or so to graduation so we're probably out of here shortly after that. Some days that can't come soon enough. Others I can't imagine leaving. But most of the time, I'd rather be back east. I think I belong there.

(PS. this is not to sit in judgment of the people of Vancouver/British Columbia. It is simply to state what I want in a city experience and how Vancouver's not about that at all.)