Fraud

I don't know if you know this, but:

1. I have never seen a Star Wars movie.


2. I know "These are not the droids you are looking for.", "Luke, I am your father.", "Jedi mind trick",  and I know that someone loses a hand, at some point. I know these things mostly because of cultural references in movies and TV shows I have seen. Oh, and I know that Sam Jackson's light sabre is purple.


3. I have never seen a Star Trek movie. I have seen key scenes from the original series. I know what the trouble is with Tribbles, I have seen the Kirk gets it on with an alien scene, and I know "Vulcan mind meld". I know that yelling the word "KHAAANNNN" is somehow significant, as well.


4. Until two years ago I had never watched an entire episode of any version of Star Trek. I like Janeway, but Picard is going to be born on my 331st birthday, so we're awesome.


5. I love George Takei because he's fabulous and fierce. Not because he was on Star Trek.


6. I know the difference between  "Jedi mind trick" and "Vulcan mind meld" because I wanted to find out why Twitter was mad at President Barack Obama. Google knows everything.


7. I saw Doctor Who when I was in kindergarten or grade one. Polka Dot Door finished, I left the room, and when I came back there was a man in a dark room who looked like he had half turned into a cactus. He had all these spikes coming out of his face and head. It terrified me.
   
   I was almost 30 before I found out that Doctor Who wasn't in the horror genre.


8. I tried to LARP once. I ended up getting drunk at the bar across the street with the friend who brought me because someone decided that my "reason for being" wasn't proper to the story. Or something about my "progeny" not being plausible.
   
   It was a game about fucking vampires. THERE IS NOTHING PLAUSIBLE ABOUT THAT.
   
   RIP, Frank.


9. I read a Terry Pratchett book once. I don't remember a thing about it. I don't remember what it was called. I think it's possible there were some elves in it.


10. I read the four book trilogy The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to impress a guy. I don't know that it actually impressed him, but I do know that I understood many of his catch phrases and humour much better after reading it. All I remember at this point is "So long, and thanks for all the fish" and the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything is 42.
    
    John, if you are reading this, yes, you were the guy I was trying to impress.
    
    No, I'm not proud of that.


11. I played a table-top, dice rolling, RPG once. It involved the apocalypse and body armour. Perhaps an earlier nuclear annihilation. I did this because...

Yanno what, I'm just going to blunt here... everything classically nerdy I have ever done was to impress a guy I liked, or because I was in the room when the guy I liked was doing something nerdy.

That's how I learned to play RISK. That's how I learned to play poker. That's how I found out about Monty Pyton. That's how I learned to follow NFL football.

Left to my own devices I nerd out over Supreme Court of Canada rulings, feminist intersectionality, economics, organizing books, productivity apps, style, current events, the NHL in general, and the Montreal Canadiens in specific.  Most of these things are particularly anti-social, but I'm fortunate to have at least a couple of them in common with my spouse. My "mindless, zone-out" activities are reading the only fiction author I like, Michael Slade, and playing Zynga/Facebook flash games.

Don't judge me.

Too Much Hope

Trying not to hope too much.

I had a job interview today for a job I really want, in an industry I have been trying to get into for years, with a company that seems stable and doesn't seem to exploit their workforce, and has at least two people I think are hilarious working for them at present.

I really want the job. I don't want to want it this much, because I can't take much more rejection in this world.

***

I want something to be certain. I have nothing certain in my life. I want one thing other than my husband to rely on for just one day. That's all I want right now.

***

Bob Rae keeps sending me emails asking me to register to vote for the next Liberal Party of Canada leadership, because I subscribed as a supporter.

Justin, Mark, Martin, and George definitely do not have my vote. Not under any circumstances.

For that reason I am thinking about not bothering to register, because I don't support any of the candidates that are currently likely to win, and I won't support any party that has any one of those people as leader. The two candidates that I do really like won't win and if they became leader they'd never win LeaderOp, much less the governing party.

But I won't vote NDP, and I'll never be a Conservative, so the LPC will likely get my vote.

But they will not get my time or my money.

***

"The Following" is such an intense show. Took me over an hour to get over the anxiety.

BC Family Day

Feels like a normal Monday when you don't have any place to go on any given day of the week. It's very obvious that we're not the kind of family politicians and assorted homophobes are interested in seeing more of.

***

9 days to find a job or decisions have to be made. This is fucking terrible. Doesn't help that two of those days are a weekend.

***

The H2 channel is the best $2 a month I've ever spent.

So there I was...

...waxed on cold & flu medications because yesterday I felt like death warmed over. 

Now I just feel like more night-time cold and flu medication. Because I can.

***

I've taken to watching 1990s episodes of Law & Order before The Golden Girls come on. It's funny to watch cops use payphones.

***

I want tacos. There are no tacos here. It's also close to 11:30 pm, so finding tacos that aren't surrounded by drunken douchebags is an impossibility.

***

"Now, you know what they say about hopes -- they're what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else." - John Malkovich - 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, Saturday Night Live, 2008

On the next one

Got my official "we're moving in a different direction" email from the person who interviewed me last Thursday.

Officially that leaves my job interview on Monday as my only real prospect for gainful employment. I'm still applying for stuff, but I am really frustrated.

My new project is going okay, I guess. I'm too afraid to check the analytics because I'll be sad and disappointed, I think.

***

Are The Who going to sing all of their CSI theme songs on the Grammy nominations?

On a related note, I only recently found out that the band that sings Pumped Up Kicks isn't the same band that sings We Are Young. I clearly don't pay attention to pop radio or watch videos very often.

Also, Adam Levine. I would love to have a highly inappropriate relationship with him for a short period of time.

*rawr*

***

I'm leaving the house tomorrow! YAY!

Project launched

If you're my Facebook friend you know that I showed my new project to the world today.

Nothing really happened after that. I got some good SEO advice. I got some Facebook likes. I've starting writing more stuff.

***

Trevin is still the most overrated on The Voice.

I still LOVE Melanie.

I still think Nicholas should win.

***

I think I've been typing for too long and too many days in a row. I barely have any feeling in my hands. I had to get Joe to take the lid off my new container of yoghurt because I couldn't grip it.

MS is an inconvenience in my life, but often it's the inconveniences that make me feel as helpless as a toddler.

Setting up

I'm trying to set up a more professional work set up in my apartment. Typing from bed works great when I'm just pounding out crap for this blog, but when trying to write professionally and do things I give a shit about... well that's something different.

So I'm writing this at my actual desk, with a real and true keyboard plugged into my laptop. I'm sitting a swivel office chair and trying to take what I am doing more seriously.

This is serious, yo.

***

My phone interview went well. I should find out tomorrow if they want me to continue on in the hiring process.

My in-person interview went well. I should find out by the end of the week what the next step is.

I kind of want both jobs. One pays better than the other, the other is more interesting than the other, one has two days off a month, the other has four days off a month. Both come with three weeks vacation, neither have benefits, but one comes with a monthly transit pass.

So, we'll see. No job offer pending at this point.

***

My favourite contestant on The Voice:   Melanie

The contestant I think will win:               Terry

Most underrated:                                   Cassadee (yeah, I know...)

Most overrated:                                     Trevin

Total badass:                                         Nicholas

Joe's call on SuperBowl XLVII:             Houston v. NY Giants

My call on SuperBowl XLVII:               Denver v. NY Giants (because I LOVE sibling rivalry.)

***

Someday I'm going to have a desk that I like and is functional. Someday.

Spousal Advice

90% of the TV I watch involves the arrival of the medical examiner at some point during the program.

My favourite kind of shows are the true crime shows like 48 Hours: Hard Evidence, Murder by the Book and, when it was on, Cold Case Files. (I miss that show so much!)

I can't be the only person who watches these types of shows and then says to their spouse:

"Baby, if you want a divorce just ask for one. Don't kill me."

or

"Baby, if you're going to kill me do it yourself. Don't try to hire some half-wit with a concealed carry permit."

or

"Baby, if you're going to kill me, make sure you know what day AND time the dumpster is picked up. Once I'm in the landfill, you're home free."

And I'm sure I'm not the only person who watches these types of shows and gives their spouse advice on getting away with spousal homicide who's spouse looks at them like they are insane and then refuses to listen to the logic and reasoning behind the advice.

That look and refusal makes me sad, because I've got this kind of thing worked out and he just doesn't care to know about it.

I suppose it's true that partners should have different interests.

"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."

I haven't watched the show much for the past couple of seasons, but I did spend some time tonight watching the series finale of House, MD.

Mostly I will miss having someone who says what I often think on television. House's cynical logic was a breath of fresh air to me.

"I choose to believe that the white light people sometimes see... they're all just chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down.... There's no conclusive science. My choice has no practical relevance to my life, I choose the outcome I find more comforting.... I find it more comforting to believe that this isn't simply a test."

Not a whole lot of atheists on US television, and as objectionable as this character's actions could be, Dr. Gregory House was often a voice of reason for those of us who want to confront life, mortality, illness and even grief without god.

So House is "dead". Long live House.