$2,511.27

That's our total as of right this minute. Together with Erin, Margaret, Rina, Viktoria and Joe we raised over TWO THOUSAND - FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for MS research and patient resources. I am humbled by your support in this endeavour.

It didn't rain. We looked fabulous. We walked the 3K route, but I had to take two breaks because I overheated on the back stretch, which was disappointing.

I want to thank each and every one of you who helped us get exceed our team and personal goals. We could not have done this without you, and we ended up finishing 11th overall in team fundraising.

I have already registered for next year's walk, and we will have a new goal. I hope you'll be there for us again next year.

THANK YOU ALL!

TEAM GL*TTERB*TCHES - 2012

TEAM GL*TTERB*TCHES - 2012 needs YOUR HELP.

Also if you are interested in being one of the 100 people who is interested in paying $25 for a margarita or sangria and three tacos to support TEAM GL*TTERB*TCHES, please drop me a line or send me a message. I want to do this in 4 to 6 weeks.

Trapped

I have been really, really trying to do things that will result in me getting a life for the past week or so. It's frustrating, because sometimes I am genuinely tired, but a lot of the time I've just convinced myself that I am tired so I can be lazy.

I am so lame.

I've been thinking a lot about what is holding me back from progress. I've come a long way in a year, I know this, but I'm still not *right*. It came to me today when I was trying to get myself off the floor. (I had sat down on the floor on purpose, I didn't fall.)

I am trapped in this body.

A body that doesn't work right or consistently.

A body that doesn't look at all what it looked like when I was well.

A body that I can't trust and I can't seem to change. Seems like every time I go to try to fix one thing that's wrong the fix causes something else to malfunction. It's bullshit.

Very truly, I feel like my body is my enemy; that it's the reason I'm so unhappy and swing from merely being annoyed and bitchy to massively hating my life and all situations in it from day to day. (Not generally hour to hour, unless something really full of bullshit happens during a given hour.)

Is it at all possible for anyone to come to terms with this without turning into a stark, raving Pollyanna-Let-The-Sun-Shine-In-and-Just-Think-Positively-No-Matter-What-Kind-Of-Bullshit-Is-Going-On-Because-It-Could-Be-Worse, The Secret reading nutjob?

I've spent sometime thinking about this. I don't think you can unless you can get to the point where you're okay with lying to yourself. Or your symptoms have been at bay for a while. That's just a false sense of security, because you know - You. Know. - that MS can kick the shit out of you one day without warning and you've got no recourse.

That said, I'm still putting in 40 hours a week. I'm generally not falling into bed with exhaustion before or after 11 PM. The HRT has fixed my hot flashes for the most part.

"Look on the bright side, it could be worse."

Do something that will make me feel better:

Join my MS Walk team! If you can't walk with me in Vancouver you can send me your money!

Or you can use your links on the right to pledge my team mates Margaret, Joe, Jeanine, Erin or me individually. Every dollar matters!

The UBC MS Clinic has submitted a CCSVI two-year research AND treatment study that will cost $3,000,000. We need to raise the money so we can find out exactly what the deal is with CCSVI and MS.


Thanks peeps!

I can't tell you what I was doing...

but for about an hour last night I didn't hate my life, I felt normal & not sick.

I have also sent out thank you cards to everyone I had a mailing address for who contributed to my MS Birthday Wish using the Causes application on Facebook.

If I don't have your mailing address (Katherine, Laurie, Erin, and Gina, I'm looking at you) please send it to me and I will send you a card. Along with the $20 my mum sent in cash, we raised $260 for the MS Society of Canada.

Your support and love means the world to me.