Listography 6 - List your biggest fears

I briefly considered numbering these, but rejected the idea. I know I have fears, I am unsure that I want to know how many.

I will go blind again.
I will lose the ability to walk.
I will lose my mind.
I will amount to nothing.
I will hate every job I have for the rest of my working life.
My working life won't be as long as it could've been.
I will always be fat.
I will never walk in heels again.
Some how, some way, my love of cosmetics is the reason why I got MS.
Getting blown up by a bomb.
Freezing to death.
Living past age 90.
I have ruined Joe's life.
Ugly shoes will be all I can safely wear.
Conservative Christians of the Batshit Crazy variety.
I'll never figure out how to translate misanthropy and organization into a money making venture.
Stephen Harper and his Conservatives with a majority government.
NASCAR
Wal Mart
I will be arrested and charged with a crime I did not commit.

CCSVI and MS

I'm afraid that a whole lot of people are going to be disappointed. There is absolutely no evidence, even Dr. Zamboni's research, that this procedure works for everyone.

Dr. Zamboni says that it works for people who's narrowing of the veins doesn't come back but what wasn't on the show was that 80% of the people who have had this surgery in California have the narrowing come back. Their symptoms may be less severe, but they're not "cured".

There's also a side effect of neck and shoulder problems for some people that should also be investigated before we start handing out this surgery for everyone and their brother with MS.

There's also no evidence that the procedure does anything to help with damage to the brain or undoing scar tissue. This answer also doesn't solve the mystery of MS's geographic and gender biases, the genetic factors, the connection to Guillain–Barré or Epstein-Barr, or even gluten, egg or dairy allergies or sensitivities. This very simple answer doesn't even begin to unravel the web of possibilities with MS.

Please, for the love of Pete, don't pin your hopes on this being "THE ANSWER". It is probably more like "one of a few answers".

End MS

CTV News program W5 investigates intriguing new theory about MS

For now, MS Societies in Canada and the U.S. have reacted cautiously to the research,, saying there is "insufficient evidence to suggest this phenomenon is the cause of MS" and discouraging patients from getting tested or seeking treatment.

But the researchers testing Zamboni's theory believe they're on to something that could change the future for MS patients around the world.

The report will be up on the CTV - W5 website after the show airs Saturday, November 21, 2009.

Listography 5 - List your past jobs

At some point in your working life you just have to admit to yourself that your personality is not well suited to certain forms of human interaction and then try desperately to earn a living that doesn't make you want to kill yourself.

I have yet to find that way. So here is my list of crazy bosses jobs I have had since moving to BC.

1. Actually, my first boss was pretty cool. HER boss was a little nuts. But it was retail sales in the mall closest to the richest people. Meeting sales quotas was easy. Then the boss sued the parent company, the parent company shut the store down, and we were all out of jobs. I was two weeks short of qualifying for any kind of severance.

2. Receptionist for a biotech firm. My boss was anal retentive to the point where a fax sent to order lunch had to be typed and approved by her. Because hand written could send the wrong message. I quit after three months to take...

3. Secretary to a union. This job started out great. The hours were good, the pay was good, the benefits excellent. Then the boss started getting angry at me for things that had happened 6 months earlier that I we had already resolved. The final straw - I caught him doing something illegal in the lunch room the day before I told his wife he was in Edmonton when he had told her he was at his place in the US. I thought he was having an affair. I ended up getting very sick with an intestinal parasite and instead of returning to work 6 weeks later I was laid off.

Odd twist to this little story. The guy is now doing time. Not an affair after all.

4. I did some temping at UBC and various and sundry mining companies sitting in front of phones that didn't ring.

5. Legal services. My boss had unrealistic expectations of how thorough my training was by a woman who hated me literally on sight. My department went bye-bye a year and a bit later, and I got my next job while I was still getting severance from this one.

6. CARTOONS. Actually, no one involved in this workplace was crazy. I so wish this had been more of a job. Getting to help with the creation of a Saturday morning cartoon and the related merchandising was very cool. Too bad that what there was to do wasn't enough to justify a full time job. Fun workplace though. Three month contract ended up turning into nothing.

7. NFP business association. I thought that the board was cool, but it turns out they're screwing me over for a reference because I got sick with MS 6 months into my employment there. My boss and I didn't really get along, and apparently the boss wins over the hired help in those circles.

8. Pirate chasing! A great opportunity to find out if I had the energy and stamina to take on the working world again, and I can and I am back out in that world. Donna and crew are a bit geekier than I'm used to, but a righteous bunch of people who seemed happy with my work. Sad that there's no way to sign on as a full time employee, because I would do it in a second.

9. Assistant to an accountant. - Dial-up internet, foot powered dictaphone transcription, technology explanations that go no where and being treated like I'm a fucking tool because the 8 year old software busted today, the company no longer supports that version, and doesn't offer support advice for any product in that line before 2004. When I tell the accountant who's the admin on that program, she takes all the information I gathered, talks to me like I'm lying, calls the company tech support again and gets told the *exact* *same* *thing* and then continues to tell me how to file, how to make labels, and how to make coffee like I'm new.

Here I am again with a job I hate because its the only opportunity that's presented itself. I got the head up on a federal government temp job, which I have just spent a half hour making my resume boring enough to show that I meet the Merit Criteria.

Hopefully my Employment Equity (EE) status pushes me over the top.

Not that working for The Man seems like fulfillment of a lifelong dream, but at least I'll be adequately compensated for my time. Because, when its all said and done, a little financial security can go a long way at allowing me to keep my wits about me.

Reviewing this list is really depressing. Eight jobs in just over 6 years, though I'm not sure if 3 of them count. (Retail, biotech and cartoons) So 5 jobs in 6 years. That's depressing. It really drives home how stupid my life is.

I'm going to eat one of my 77 pieces of Halloween candy.

Stuck

For about 10 years now I've been stuck on a treadmill life.

As I was making my way on public transit today I realized how many times I've been *here*. Not on the 99B, though I've been on it a lot, but here in this same situation.

I'm stuck in a job that I hate for not enough money because I don't have the credentials to do something more interesting.

(notice I said credentials, not skills)

This is what a 155 IQ and problems with authority will get you, folks.

Perhaps there's a living to be made as a cautionary tale?

I continue to work my ass off for this man. I will continue looking for a better job.
I am working full time to no ill effect manly because I can now and there's no guarantee how long I will be able to do this. So I will do everything to my fullest ability today because I know that the MS monster lurks in the shadows and will eventually take everything from me.

Really, if the world ends in 2012, I'm totally okay with that.