The New Plan

is being re-drafted.

I didn't get the job that would work perfectly with the plan. Or rather, the company's strategic plan is not complete yet so they don't know if I would fit into the plan yet and they will call me if/when they have a place for me.

So the job search continues and it sucks big hairy moose cock.

I also had an unpleasant medical appointment at the hospital at 7:45 AM, I have a pounding headache and I'm starving because I haven't eaten since 6 AM.

I'm not in a good mood so I am going to consider the two job applications I made today to be enough and call it a day.

And get something to eat.

I Didn't Tell Her To Go Fuck Herself

... but I totally wanted to.

Today I was at the hospital getting some tests done to see if we're doing the right thing when it comes to treating some unpleasant symptoms that won't go away.

I went into the cafeteria and came face to face with one of the health care "professionals" from the MS Clinic. She asked me how I was doing and asked if I was still working.

I told her my employment history in two sentences including details that I had been laid off and was trying to find new employment and she looked me straight in the eye and said,

"Why didn't you just go on disability when you lost your job."

I am sure I mentally killed her with the daggers in my eyes. It took all the power I could muster not to hiss at her when I replied,

"Because I'm not disabled."

And then she got that patronizing look of amused pity and said,

"Oh...you think you can still work.

Good For You, Dear."

And she smiled the patronizing smirk of someone who thinks they know better and patted me on the arm in the "There, There." fashion.

I said, "It was nice to see you."

I turned on my heel and abandoned the idea of picking up a snack before my appointment.


I run into this A LOT, especially around people connected with the MS Clinic and the MS Society and I get it from MS patients who's disease has progressed further than mine. Fortunately I don't get it from my neurologist and family doctor. There's this thing, almost like a need for people with this disease or in this work to lower my expectations for my own life... as if I really need help with that.

Even though it took every fibre of my being not to say it...

I didn't tell them to go fuck themselves.

In Case of An Emergency

With the 7.7 Haida Gwaii earthquake and "Superstorm" Sandy barrelling down on the US east coast I'm reminded of our own 72 Hour Plan. If you don't have one, you are tempting fate. If you don't trust the government and you don't have a 72 Hour Plan you either have a death wish or are a hypocrite.

Get Prepared is an excellent place for Canadians to start. It will help you prepare for the kind of risks your area is likely to face. There are also links to the the Province of British Columbia Emergency Preparedness Program (and their helpful zombie apocalypse survival guide) and Emergency Management Ontario (which has warnings up about Hurricane Sandy) and all the other provincial and territorial programs on dealing with catastrophes.

Make your plan online

Put your emergency kit together

Or buy a ready-made kit or buy one you add your own food and water to.

For my US friends FEMA has all your disaster related information for your area of the continent.

For my UK chums there's UK Resilience (which is the most awesome government department, ever).

Know your risks. Have a plan. Buy or put together your own kit.

To my friends in Maryland, New Jersey and New York - stay safe, stay warm, stay dry.

Sorting the bits and pieces

Unemployment is really, really, bad for me.

After realizing that every single great habit I had going hinged on my requirement to be awake, dressed, out of the house and on my best behaviour by 8 AM I am trying to resort my routine for not being required to go anywhere or do much of anything.

I have a great routine and schedule, don't get me wrong. And it works *great* in making sure I am a productive member of society. But getting the motivation to get up and do things when I don't have to... that's my stumbling point. I know this.

But there is good news!

The point where I notice it's getting bad is happening sooner. I've only been off work for three weeks. I'm aware of it and am now trying to right the ship as it were.

There is probably nothing worse than a hypocritical professional organizer.

I get anxiety just thinking about personally failing at what it is I really want to do.

***

The first step to any project is to gather together everything together and then start sorting - like with like - until there is a manageable pile of tasks or items to deal with.

I have my pile.

***

If anyone knows when and where the annual Calendar Club store is setting up before xmas in Vancouver (or  SkyTrain-able Burnaby) I could use the heads up.

Thnx.

Hurry Up!

So, my Thursday coffee and conversation might turn into something. It might turn into something that fits ideally into The New Plan. It probably even fits the longer term plan.

I cannot be too confident. I do not want to be disappointed. I do not want to be hopeful.

Joe got excellent news today and so now he's even more on board with The New Plan.

Now if only the NHL lockout would be over or one of these lottery tickets pays out tonight or tomorrow night, this weekend would be the most awesome ever.

***

My NFL habit starts the weekend at 0-1. Purple lost last night to fucking Tampa. TAMPA!

***

I know exactly what to do. I just need to do it. Please let next Wednesday come quickly. That's when I find out what the outcome is of the coffee and conversation. Which hopefully will take the sting out of the unpleasantness of my two MS-related trips to hospital clinics on Monday and Wednesday morning.

***

MS has given me a body that often acts like that of 60+ woman... which I guess isn't all that surprising given that MS has given me premature ovarian failure, muscle weakness and stiff joints. I found out what it's like to have an aging body 30 years ahead of schedule.

yay...

***

I just want the days to pass. I need to get things moving forward. I am impatient when I can't act.

This might be the most harmful thing to me.