Not Negotiable

By September 15, 2010 I wish to have the following:

1. A 1 bedroom apartment,

2. SouthNorth of Kingsway,

3. West of Victoria,

4. NorthSouth of 1st.,

5. East of Main, and

6. For $900 a month or less or $1000 a month for all utilities included.

How hard can that be?

According to Craigslist, pretty fucking hard.

It's true that I don't have to be out of my apartment until October 31, 2010, but if we're out by September 30, he'll give us September's rent back. That means we get a cheque for almost two grand on the day we move out when you include the eviction penalty and our security deposit IF we can get out of here by September 30.

The thing of it is, September 30 is the day we fly to Toronto to be back in Ontario in time for my cousin Angela's wedding. We need the place for September 15.

We've lived in this place for five years. We've got good references and I'm fully and completely employed and, if I might add, Joe and I are a lovely couple who work hard and pay our bills.

We've been informed that we were only one of several people who applied for that apartment on the corner we so coveted and also the landlords won't call back if we aren't the chosen ones. The property manager went so far as to say if we hadn't heard by tonight we didn't get it.

The time now is 19:51 PST. We're banking on the fact that we didn't get it.

I'm freaking out. I'd have another drink or 12, but I am a responsible adult who has to work in the morning.

Edited to fix the absolute physical impossibility that happens when you mix up north and south.