Math

When I was born…
I had a mum and a dad.
Two grandmas and two grandpas.
Three great grandmas and three great grandpas.
Two aunts and two uncles.
One first cousin.

When I was five…
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters.
Two grandmas and two grandpas.
Three great grandmas.
Two aunts and two uncles.
One first cousin.

When I was ten…
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters and one brother.
Two grandmas and two grandpas.
Two great grandmas.
Three aunts and three uncles.
Two first cousins.

When I was fifteen…
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters and one brother.
Two grandmas and two grandpas.
Two great grandmas.
Three aunts and three uncles.
Four first cousins.

When I was twenty…
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters and one brother.
Two grandmas and two grandpas.
Three aunts and two uncles. (The third uncle is still alive, he’s just not my uncle anymore.)
Seven first cousins.

When I was twenty-five...
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters, a brother and a brother-in-law.
Two grandmas and one grandpa.
Three aunts and two uncles.
Seven first cousins.

When I was thirty...
I had a mum and a dad.
Two sisters, a brother and a brother-in-law.
One nephew and one niece.
Two grandmas.
Three aunts and two uncles.
Seven first cousins.

When I was thirty-five...
I had a husband.
I had a mum and a dad.
I had a mother & father-in law.
Two sisters, a sister-n-law, a brother and a brother-in-law.
Two nephews and one niece.
Two grandmas.
Three aunts and two uncles.
Seven first cousins.

Now at age thirty-six...
I still have them all, except I’m down to one grandma.

This is my family's math; addition and subtraction over the years. Even though we've lost the matriarch of my paternal family, we're still a bigger bunch than when we started out.

I wish I knew my grandma better than I did, but what I did know made for some lovely memories.

My heart was with them yesterday, even if I wasn’t. I am filled with gratitude that I have had these people in my life; even though I have disappointed them, have major personality clashes with them, they drive me crazy and I drive them crazy. They are my people, my clan. I miss them right now more than I ever thought I would.

I hope that my grandmother had a good life and that in her last moments she was able to recall that there were at least 19 people whose life was forever changed by her being in it and loved her for it.