Spousal Advice

90% of the TV I watch involves the arrival of the medical examiner at some point during the program.

My favourite kind of shows are the true crime shows like 48 Hours: Hard Evidence, Murder by the Book and, when it was on, Cold Case Files. (I miss that show so much!)

I can't be the only person who watches these types of shows and then says to their spouse:

"Baby, if you want a divorce just ask for one. Don't kill me."

or

"Baby, if you're going to kill me do it yourself. Don't try to hire some half-wit with a concealed carry permit."

or

"Baby, if you're going to kill me, make sure you know what day AND time the dumpster is picked up. Once I'm in the landfill, you're home free."

And I'm sure I'm not the only person who watches these types of shows and gives their spouse advice on getting away with spousal homicide who's spouse looks at them like they are insane and then refuses to listen to the logic and reasoning behind the advice.

That look and refusal makes me sad, because I've got this kind of thing worked out and he just doesn't care to know about it.

I suppose it's true that partners should have different interests.

Maybe you'll start feeling better if you stop reading WebMD

Yesterday was follow up visit with my neurologist. I have been attending her office every 6 months for the past year and a half. Yesterday was a big step in our relationship.

I have been given the all clear to now only see her every year, unless I relapse. This is so exciting.

My only real symptoms are numb fingers and numb toes and bi-lateral spasticity of my lower limbs. This is pretty awesome. Now that I'm not working she is concerned that I am not getting enough exercise and wants me to walk, at minimum, 1 km per day, to find some instruction in yoga and pilates, and to consider weight/strength training for my upper body and core.

Also, we have agreed that I will have an MRI in March or April of next year to see what is going on as she is supporting my decision to go off Copaxone.

I'm not going off Copaxone because it was horrible. I am going off of it because it is a constant mental reminder that I am sick when I don't feel sick. I'm also tired of being bruised and sore in inconvenient places. Mostly, I'm just really sick of being sick.

So, we've agreed that a one year break from Copaxone is fine. If there is no change in my lesion load next year, then we'll talk about Copaxone or see if Gilenya is covered by the provincial drug plan or see what else is on the market. If there is a change, then getting back on a drug is really my only course. I have had no change in my MRI since diagnosis, so anything that happens after now will most definitely be because I went off the drugs.

So, in the grand scheme of all things MS, with 1 being "meh" and 10 being "someone kill me and put me out of my misery", I'm a 1. Maybe even a 0.5.

I am extremely fortunate that my version of MS is turning out to be more of an annoyance than a life destroying disease. I have done nothing to deserve this, unless you count listening to the best advise the doctors had for me and doing what was suggested by them as "doing something". I don't know how long this will last, and by this time next year we will find out of my decisions worked out.

Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

I have applied for many jobs in the past two months.

I'm starting to think that maybe it's me, not them.

Or it's this blog. Or it's the fact that I use the word "fuck" and have opinions on Twitter.

I'm pretty sure that I don't want to work for an employer who thinks that I would be so unprofessional as to use the word "fuck" in a professional setting or thinks I should stop being a pro-voice, feminist atheist to work for them.

Ah well, I'm sure there is employment out there for me with someone who doesn't know how to work the Google.

"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."

I haven't watched the show much for the past couple of seasons, but I did spend some time tonight watching the series finale of House, MD.

Mostly I will miss having someone who says what I often think on television. House's cynical logic was a breath of fresh air to me.

"I choose to believe that the white light people sometimes see... they're all just chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down.... There's no conclusive science. My choice has no practical relevance to my life, I choose the outcome I find more comforting.... I find it more comforting to believe that this isn't simply a test."

Not a whole lot of atheists on US television, and as objectionable as this character's actions could be, Dr. Gregory House was often a voice of reason for those of us who want to confront life, mortality, illness and even grief without god.

So House is "dead". Long live House.

Saturday Night's Alright

My nightclub days are done.

I think I knew this before last night, but it's now really clear.

The place wasn't even close to full, but I couldn't even dance for more than one song before I got too hot to keep moving. After a while all I could do is just sit because it was too hot to move around or even stand.

After a couple of hours I realized I needed to go home because spending my time perched on a bar stool listening to music I wasn't really interested in while being terrified to stand up because I wasn't quite sure if my left leg would hold me up wasn't fun. And if I am going to expend my energy to stay up on a Saturday night, that shit better be FUN. Though it might have been better if the $7 drinks weren't as weak as hell.

So... I am officially Ye Olde Laydee.

If anyone has any suggestions for how I should spend my Saturday nights in the near future, my inbox is open.