Sunday, May 9, 2010

Bittersweet

Happy Mother's Day to my mum and my Grandmas. I have truly been fortunate to have these three women in my life. I am glad that I finally got old enough to appreciate them.

But today is shared with a sombre anniversary. My grandpa died 11 years ago today. The day in 1999 was also Mother's Day but since Mother's Day isn't always on May 9 he died on May 9 not Mother's Day.

They say that young girls imprint on their paternal influences and end up marrying their fathers when they become women. I don't think that's true in my case.

I often wish that Grandpa had been alive to meet Joe. I think they would've got along like peas and carrots. They're a lot alike.

I miss my grandpa all the time. I wish that he could have seen me get my life together because he died when I was such a mess and living a life in disarray. I wish he had been there on the other end of the phone when I found out I had MS, if only to calm Grandma down.

I realize that not everyone gets to have a Grandpa, let alone once as great and wonderful as mine, in their life on a regular basis for almost 25 years of their lives. I know that I am fortunate to have had a pretty wonderful man and a powerful example of what a great husband could be in my life.

But I am regularly sad that he seems to have missed out on the best years and the years where I dealt with hardship and challenges in a non-destructive way. He deserved to see more and better of me than he did.

So after celebrating on the phone with two of the three women without which this life of mine would not have been possible I just had to say that I miss my Grandpa and I wish he were celebrating with the mother of his children today.



Edit: I do know how to spell "sombre" I just don't always get the editing right.

1 comment:

  1. Awww, what a touching post :-) I never knew either of my grandfathers but my father was amazing. We had Mother's Day dinner in my father's law firm building which was recently turned into a restaurant. It was surreal - like a dream where you know where you are but it is not at all the place where you think you are? I am glad you had your grandfather for 25 years and I'm sure he knew that you would turn out okay and marry a great guy :-)

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