Tuesday, July 6, 2010


In one week I will be 36. Barring some sort of disaster, I will have exactly doubled the life span I had planned on when I was 17.

I can't really explain to anyone the screaming that is going on in my head. I want to speak, to tell, but I can't because it's a secret/it's private/it will hurt someone/it will hurt me.

Every time I open up this "new post" window I hear a voice in my head say "You'll never get a job, ever, if you keep this blog."

What the hell makes that voice think that I'm ever going to apply for a job that will require a google search, I have no idea. I'm damaged goods and as such I've given up on having much of an interesting future.

The heat of the day didn't do as much damage as I thought it might, but I did get some weak limbs that were harder than normal to control and a little bit of cog fog. Nothing too tragic though.

I'm not looking forward to the next few days of over 25 degree weather. I can deal with it, but my skin just hates the feel of breezes on it so I have to wear long sleeves all the time. Sometimes I can get away with a 3/4 sleeve if it's not too windy.

Amy tagged me on a note called 25 random things. I am tempted to follow up on that, but right now my braynz are just too raw to fill it out with anything more than all the screaming.

Posting screaming in public will alienate me further from the human race. I'm trying to be better at relationships.


  1. I pulled the tag off of everyone (as I'm always afraid I annoy people with tags) but I still hope you do it. It's actually fun to just let yourself free-associate like that. When you're done screaming it'll still be there.

    As for not getting a job - what have you said that is so bad? One *is* allowed to think things, to have opinions, to be a good writer who is bright, creative, clever and sarcastic - I mean, regardless of what shenanigans she lands on to make a living, right? (Or did I miss a memo?)


  2. Your life is already more interesting than most people's and I am selfishly grateful that you lived past 18 :-) Who isn't damaged goods?!?