Almost

I'm in my husband's childhood bedroom sweating to death.

It's not supposed to be 25C (78F) in April, or May, so I am completely unprepared for this shit.

I will post some photos up on FB, but this is mostly what I can share about this trip.

1) Leaving 10 hours late is not something that can be made up the next day, or even the day after that. We were only planning on driving 10-12 hours a day, so finally on Day 3 Joe accepted that we had just lost a day.

2) When Joe was considering the distances we would travel in those 10-12 hours per day, he did not consider things like: stopping to pee, to eat, or to get gas.

3) The Motel 6 in Spokane, Washington does not provide shampoo, or soap, but you can buy them from the vending machine for a dollar.

4) Way to Go Washington State, Minnesota, and Illinois on your kickass windfarms!

5) I had so much of enough of Montana before we were half way to the Continental Divide.

6) 9 out of 10 I-90 exits in Montana have signs that say "No Services". That means there is no gas station, restaurant, or motel in the vicinity.

7) 1 out of 10 I-90 exits in Montana have a gas station, a restaurant, a motel, and five casinos. The gas station, the restaurant, and the motel will each have one, and there will be two free-standing casinos just off the parking lots of these three enterprises.

8) Same goes for Wyoming.

9) And South Dakota.

10) Probably the single most unattractive photo of me ever taken was snapped with Joe at Mount Rushmore. I deleted it.

11) Mount Rushmore was smaller than we both thought it was.

12) That's not to say it is small feat, just that it was smaller than we thought it would be as it related to the size of the rock face it's carved in.

13) Three out of three HOG members agree, Crazy Horse was better. We didn't go to see Crazy Horse. We didn't go because that shit is FAR from anything close to civilization. Unless you count the crazy tourist trappings of a place that only exists due to its proximity to a national monument as civilization.

(Think Niagara Falls, except at the bottom of a very, very, steep hill.)

14) I made it through eastern Washington, Montana, Wyoming, AND South Dakota without a single invitation to join a militia.

15) A medium beverage in the US is a Canadian large. Joe and I forget this ALL THE TIME.

16) OMG! 20oz Cherry Cokes 2 for $2.50! OMG! OMG! OMG!

17) The Flying J in Wisconsin is the best Flying J of all the Flying Js we visited. You could tell by the flower arrangements in the ladies room that they were clearly going the extra mile.

18) This may be due to the fact that Wisconsin is, as it stands, an awesome place.

19) Boca Chica in Minneapolis serves the BEST Patron tequila margarita ever. Food's pretty good too.

20) Beefaroo is one of the things that makes America great- along with Baconalia at Denny's, camoflage meshback trucker caps that say "Hard Core Carnivore", and 30 oz. of Cherry Coke for $1.

21) I am eating nothing but vegetables, fruit, oat bran, and greek yogurt for a month after this trip.

22) Nine states in five days is not something I'd advise, but I don't regret it at all.

More about our destination, when we finally get to it.

This.

So much this.

***

I believe my husband has grossly underestimated the amount of shit we own. I think we're full, and he hasn't even started packing his clothes yet.

He has a lot of clothes.

***

I am so tired. But margaritas at 4:30 pm might not be helping that.

***

I will not buy a home in an neighbourhood that has a shortened name, just in case it's "DoWiSeTrePla".

***

I'm not ready to talk about how much I am going to miss my friends.

The Big Reveal - One Year MS Clinic follow-up

1. My brain is still there.
2. MRI comparison between September 2010 and April 2013 is stable; no new lesions visible, brain mass remains unchanged.
3. Improvement noted in gross motor skills on my left side, though some deficits continue with my small motor skills on the left side.
4. No change in left side weakness.
5. No change in spasticity in my legs.
6. Improvement noted in nerve sensitivity in my hands and feet.

My neuro gave me a list of six (6) recommendations for my next year with MS.

These suggestions are based on the known best practices for people with MS and based on the findings presented last weekend at a conference of MS research academics. I think you will be surprised by some of them.

1. A multi-vitamin daily.
2. RDI levels of Omega-3 (animal based, not veggie derived) daily.
3. 1000 IU of vitamin D daily.
4. Mediterranean diet at least 5 days a week, 50 weeks of the year.
5. AT LEAST (bold AND underlined) 15 minutes of exercise - cardio activity - every day.
6. Get back on Copaxone until I can afford Tecfidera.

EDIT, 1:57 PM: I missed this part of my notes... My neuro did some balance testing and recommended I get a bike. A REAL BIKE, with just two wheels.

Thus ended The 2013 State of The Brain Address, with a hug and best wishes.

Of the few things I will miss about British Columbia, my neurologist is one of them. She's been amazing and awesome and I am so fortunate to have been a patient of hers. She will be taking some new patients at the MS Clinic. If you want to change, or you're looking for a new MS specialist neurologist in Vancouver, BC, I could totally hook you up).

So, it's nice to know that my disease seems to having taken another year off. It's been four years since I was diagnosed, so we'll see what happens in this next year.

Political

Fuck Justin Trudeau, and fuck the Liberal Party of Canada.

For the first time in my voting eligibility, I won't be voting at all in 2015. I can't bring myself to vote for any of the other parties, because I'm not a socialist, an asshole, or a conservative in environmentalists' clothing.

I don't live in Quebec, so I couldn't vote separatist even if I wanted to. Which I don't.

So I'm done. No more politics for me until JT crashes and burns in two years.

***

I'm getting closer to packed.

Due to some changes in the situation, it looks like we might not get out of here until Tuesday, April 23. If so, that will get us to Mount Rushmore on Joe's birthday.

Yeah, we're going to South Fucking Dakota. 

Go. Us.

***

I'm at the point now where I just want this shit over. I want the car bought, the shit packed, and my time in Vancouver done.

This is how my brain works

Where I work has rental apartment that's under renovation now that it is vacant.

My boss hired a guy to come over and refinish the 100 year old oak floors.

My boss said to the Floor Man,

"We need to replace a few boards from that window to that wall."

Since Tuesday, this song has been stuck in my head.

Yes. Really. This is the song in my head.

You can shut it down after about 3 seconds.

In fact, I insist that you shut it down after no more than five seconds.

Supercranky

So the woman I was teaching to do my job quit today. Turns out, she's over half way through her training to be a certified general accountant and has never worked as an assistant before.

Why he chose her, I have no idea.

Actually, I do... but that's not something I can explain in a public blog post.

Anyway, in 6.5 days (maybe less, because if I can get in to see my GP on Friday, I'm going to take the day) it's no longer my problem.

If he can't find someone to fill the job for long enough after I leave, that ain't my problem.

***

This job is killing my will to live. I have so much to do, but I come home every day just vibrating in rage and disgust that I end up sitting with my laptop in bed making lists of shit that needs to be done before we leave.

And watching The Daily Show and Colbert at 9 PM because I can thanks to Time Shift.

***

If you have depression or a history or depression, READ THIS!

Really...

That moment when you realize that the person you're training to replace exaggerated their experience, skills, and capabilities.

In a week and a half this will not be my problem.

Hell, I'm pretty sure it's not my problem now.

***

Unless I can have Adderall and Valium to manage my days and nights until I stop hating my life, then I'll stay.

Um, whut?

Annette Funicello died today.

"Her family told Extra that Funicello passed away from complications of her illness, and they were by her side when she was taken off life support. Funicello had been in an MS coma for years."

What in the flying fucking fuck is an "MS coma"?

I've had MS for almost five years, I HAVE NEVER, EVER, EVAH, heard that this was a thing.

How is this a thing?

Why did no one tell me it is a thing?

***

***

My temp job gets easier but vastly more irritating as of tomorrow.

***

Barring something unforeseen happening, two weeks from right now I will be sleeping in a hotel in the Greater Missoula, Montana Area on the way to Ontario.

I have never wanted anything so badly in my entire life.

Telefon Sex

And remember, like with declension, you don't have to make a difference, and I telefonsex loved it so much more organized!

Here is my webpage; Telefon Sex (link removed)

This is the spam I got the other day as a comment on my blog post.

I am baffled as to its meaning.

***

A year ago I was up to no good in Milwaukee, WI.

I want to do it again, but I doubt I will get a chance before summer.

EVERYONE should get up to no good in Milwaukee at some point in their lifetime. It should be in the top 10 of your bucket list.

***

OTTER!

BRAINZ! An Update

I had my 6th or 7th MRI since November 2008 today.

No contrast makes me happy. I don't like nursing an IV hole for three days.

My neurologist will give me The State of the Brain Address, as she does every year, on April 18.

My hope is she does not insist on referring me to the closest MS clinic to where I am moving. London, ON is two hours from where I'll be living and is NOT convenient. I would like a local neuro, and I'll get a referral to a clinic when we move closer to one.

***

One year ago I was flying to Chicago. I listened to Katy Perry all fucking day to celebrate.

***

I hope that dinner and some caffeine cures this tired I have. I have an art show to go to in a couple of hours.

Boredom causes fatigue

Brain numbing boredom had me just about falling asleep in my chair at work this afternoon.

I realized I forgot to have a caffeinated beverage at lunch, so that's why I didn't make it I think. If I miss that, the fatigue chases me from 2 PM to 5 PM.

If you have fatigue, specifically MS fatigue or other fatigue, what do you do to make it through the day?

I haven't found a whole lot of insight into this because most of the people I've found online who blog about MS or share information about having MS don't hold down a 9 to 5 at somebody's office.

Again, I'm reminded of why I kept this blog going... there aren't a lot of people out in the blogosphere who bring home the bacon.

Mmmm, bacon.

Do you know any MS bloggers who have jobs outside of their homes? If you do, post their url in the comments.

I want to know them.

A Day

Today I took a day because I was tired.

It means that I won't get paid for today, but I think it was worth it to stay home. I can't afford to have this job kill me before I move.

I'm pretty sure that my boss doesn't care if he kills me, but hey...

I can take a day away from him, and what's he going to do, fire me? He already knows I'm leaving.

Had our first viewer of our apartment today. She didn't even look in the bedroom. I'm guessing she's not interested.

We've been warned that the weekend could be busy for people coming by. Oh... yay...

Nothing, not even vanilla, covers up the smell of vinegar. And according to my husband, vanilla makes vinegar smell worse.

Home

"Oh, so you're going back home!"

I've heard this a lot lately. We're moving back to Ontario, yes. And I guess if the province that issued your birth certificate is home, then yes, I am moving back there.

I'm moving to a place I've never really been. It's a place I've driven through a couple of times on my way somewhere else. Our time there could be a short as 12 months. It does not feel like I am going home.

The last two times I visited the town I was born and raised, it didn't feel like home either. I haven't lived there at all in 13 years. I haven't lived close to it in almost 10. Just because I will be close enough to visit more regularly doesn't make it feel any more like home.

I rarely refer to my parent's house as "home", even though they still live in the house they brought me home from the hospital to. I haven't lived there in almost 25 years. I've been gone a decade more than the total amount of time that I live there, just about. It's not just not home.

I don't think we'll stay where we are going for much longer than 18 months unless there's an amazing offer for Joe at the end of his schooling. So I don't think it will end up feeling like home either.

Vancouver used to feel like home, but only when I wasn't here. When I was visiting somewhere else, it was the place I wanted to get "home" to. But when I was here, it felt like the place I rented an apartment.

With every employer that never called us back, and with every interview that ended in rejection, it started to feel like the place that didn't want us.

With every report about real estate that we would never afford, lifestyle choices we didn't want, activities we weren't interested in, and neighbourhoods being gentrified into major label blandness, it became a place we didn't want to be.

But what I do know is that my home is with my love. It's not a building, or a city, or a country. It's with him. And given how we've made it through some amazing things, home is going to continue to be with him.

This Is The Voice

This woman tried out for The Voice, a country singer from Nashville, TN, who claimed to have MS.

I HATE PEOPLE WITH MS WHO CAN WEAR HIGH HEELS!

There, I said it.

I find people with MS who wear heels to be smug show-offs.

It's all like "Heeeey, lookit meee! I'm awesomely walking around in my high heeeeeels all awesomer than yoooooo."

I.
Miss.
Lovely.
Shoes.
So.
Much.

MS fucking sucks.