Sunday, April 12, 2009

There's more to this than what I'm saying

Just so you think I'm not making this shit up.

So what we (probably) have here is:

Reactive or Situational Depression: My life sucks.

Organic Depression: My brain sucks.

Medication Side Effect: I am on chemotherapy drugs that are doing some crazy shit to my ovaries. I am on and off steroids. No wonder I'm fucking crazy. My hormones are not stable AND my life and brain suck.

My former therapist won't see me because there's no behaviour we can modify until we know it's situational, not organic, or I come off the medication.

I have to see the psychiatrist that specializes in dealing with people with MS. Since there are only two of them in the entire city, I have to wait until June.

Getting sick has taken away all my mental health measurements. I can't fake sane anymore, even after 6-plus years of being able to do it.

1 comment:

  1. :(

    Well - not sure there's any advice I can give that would help... but would it help if you tried to stop "faking sane".

    Sanity is over rated. Be insane. Seems to me with all the shit you're dealing with, you deserve to be whatever the hell you feel like - including angry, sad, frustrated, and anything else you damn well please.