Symptom Log: Day 1

Things I have are in bold.

Visual Symptoms

Symptom & Description

• Optic Neuritis  (Blurred vision, eye pain, loss of colour vision, blindness)
  
• Diplopia  (Double Vision)
  
• Nystagmus  (Jerky Eye Movements)
  
• Ocular Dysmetria   (Constant under- or overshooting eye movements)
  
• Internuclear Ophthalmoplegia (Lack of coordination between the two eyes, nystagmus, diplopia)
  
• Movement and sound phosphenes  (Flashing lights when moving eyes or in response to a sudden noise)
  
• Afferent Pupillary Defect (Abnormal pupil responses)
  

Motor Symptoms
Symptom & Description

• Paresis, Monoparesis, Paraparesis, Hemiparesis, Quadraparesis (Muscle weakness - partial or mild paralysis)
  
• Plegia, Paraplegia, Hemiplegia, Tetraplegia, Quadraplegia  (Total or near total loss of muscle strength)
  
• Spasticity (Loss of muscle tone causing stiffness, pain and restricting free movement of affected limbs)
  
• Dysarthria (Slurred speech and related speech problems)
  
• Muscle Atrophy (Wasting of muscles due to lack of use)
  
• Spasms, Cramps (Involuntary contraction of muscles)
  
• Hypotonia, Clonus (Problems with posture)
  
• Myoclonus, Myokymia (Jerking and twitching muscles, Tics)
  
• Restless Leg Syndrome (Involuntary Leg Movements, especially bothersome at night)
  
• Footdrop (Foot drags along floor during walking)
  
• Dysfunctional Reflexes (MSRs, Babinski's, Hoffman's, Chaddock's)
  

Sensory Symptoms
Symptom & Description

• Paraesthesia (Partial numbness, tingling, buzzing and vibration sensations)
  
• Anaesthesia (Complete numbness/loss of sensation)
  
• Neuralgia, Neuropathic and Neurogenic pain (Pain without apparent cause, burning, itching and electrical shock sensations)
  
• L'Hermitte's (Electric shocks and buzzing sensations when moving head)
  
• Proprioceptive Dysfunction (Loss of awareness of location of body parts)
  
• Trigeminal Neuralgia (Facial pain)
  

Coordination and Balance Symptoms
Symptom & Description

• Ataxia (Loss of coordination)
  
• Intention tremor (Shaking when performing fine movements)
  
• Dysmetria (Constant under- or overshooting limb movements)
  
• Vestibular Ataxia (Abnormal balance function in the inner ear)
  
• Vertigo Nausea (Vomitting/sensitivity to travel sickness from vestibular ataxia)
  
• Speech Ataxia (Problems coordinating speech, stuttering)
  
• Dystonia (Slow limb position feedback)
  
• Dysdiadochokinesia (Loss of ability to produce rapidly alternating movements, for example to move to a rhythm)
  

Bowel, Bladder and Sexual Symptoms
Symptom & Description

• Frequent Micturation (Urinary urgency and incontinence)
  
• Flaccid Bladder (Urinary hesitancy and retention)
  
• Erectile Dysfunction (Male and female impotence)
  
• Anorgasmy (Inability to achieve orgasm)
  
• Retrograde ejaculation (Ejaculating into the bladder)
  
• Frigidity (Inability to become sexually aroused)
  
• Constipation (Infrequent or irregular bowel movements)
  
• Fecal Urgency (Bowel urgency)
  
• Fecal Incontinence (Bowel incontinence)

Cognitive Symptoms

Symptom & Description

• Depression 
  
• Cognitive dysfunction (Short-term and long-term memory problems, forgetfulness, slow word recall)
  
• Dementia 
  
• Mood swings, emotional lability, euphoria
  
• Bipolar syndrome 
  
• Anxiety 
  
• Aphasia, Dysphasia (Impairments to speech comprehension and production)
  

Other Symptoms
Symptom & Description

• Fatigue 
  
• Uhthoff's Symptom (Increase in severity of symptoms with heat)
  
• Gastroesophageal Reflux Acid reflux
  
• Impaired sense of taste and smell
  
• Epileptic seizures
  
• Swallowing problems
  
• Respiratory problems
  
• Sleeping Disorders 
  
• Inappropriately cold body parts
  
• Autonomic nervous system problems
  

This is what I live with every single day. If the chemo works I will have less of these, or I'll have all of them but less often. Or nothing will change. Or something won't happen that could've happened. No one knows. There is no other prognosis other than "In a year it'll be different."

I can't get a third of what I want done in a day done. I feel like my brain is wasting away to nothing and soon I will be drooling on myself in a corner in an adult diaper.

I'm just tired of living like this, and it's only just begun.