Thursday, May 31, 2012

Having a Bad Week

I'm not sure what has to happen in your life that makes you kill and dismember someone and put their torso in a suitcase and then mail some of the parts to national political partiesincluding a note that there would be more deaths then bugging out to Europe - probably France. However, I hope that if I am ever the subject of an international arrest warrant, my wanted photos are as well composed and professional.

How bad does your day have to be that you walk into a local cafe, shoot five people then walk off to carjack and shoot a sixth person? Five of those people are dead, the shooter killed himself when the police confronted him.

I have never been angry enough to shoot my landlord and then have a stand-off with the police. Not ever. Or be suspected of killing two people in a suburban sushi bar before I shot my landlord.

I have never wanted to eat the face of a homeless man whilst naked. I have wanted to rip the heart out of a couple of my ex-boyfriends, but that was more metaphorically than literally. And it never included tearing tongues out, shredding faces, or removing eyeballs - especially when unclothed. Turns out, that happened in 2010. I should learn to read the dates on these things more closely.

I really don't have an explanation for any of this, so....

OMG BABY PLATYPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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