Thursday, November 29, 2012

Barf

That's what waiting makes me feel like.

Tea and crackers is all I can stomach.

Job hunting makes me feel like my entire worth as a human being is being judged. It makes me physically ill.

I have these two opportunities hanging over my head and, now that I've had two days to obsess over every word and every mannerism I displayed, I have convinced myself that I didn't get either job.

Barf.
***

BUT, my website is just a few days away from public consumption.
I'm completely unsure of myself now. I look at the people I have put on my notification mailing list and think, oooh, that person is going to judge me. That person will think this is stupid. Those people will think I'm dumb. That person will unsubscribe. That other person will wonder why I think I can do this.
I question myself every minute now, all because a pair of job interviews have got me off my game.

I hate my brain.

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